The Butoh ――A dedication to Tatsumi Hijikata

11 The warped qualia

Oneday Hijikata Tatsumi said to his wife, "I wonder what is the warped body?"
Akiko Motohuji, Hijikata's wife wrote so on her book; "The momries of Hijikata Tatsumi".
He used to make sound at his various joints in the bed at night often. Butoh dancer digs various tunnels in the body for twenty four hours.

Hijikata grew up in the Akita prefecture where is placed at the northen edge of Japan. They have their own deep culture based on animism traditional which has big difference against modern western culture in Tokyo, Japan.
Hijikata felt a deep warped qualia in his body between his natural body from Akita, and modern Tokyo where he moved at his twenties.

For me the warped qualia are the most important for creation.
Almost of my butoh peices started from the warped qualia.
I investigated in them for long years. I moved from country side of Japan; Wakayama to big city Osaka, too. I felt big gap against a modern city life in Osaka. I could imagine the depth of warped qaulia for Hijikata, because the gap might be extremely bigger than my case. Warped qualia happen between different cultures, customs, but not only that.

What is the warped qualia?
Warped qualia have so many variations in the multi dimension; pressed, twisted, freezen, shrunken, rotten, decayed, blocked, collapsed, weakened, surpised, attacked by unknown unconfortable feeling, strange emotion, ichy, afraid, something wrong, a momentary subtle feeling, and so on. I cannot explain them generally. But I can say a thing about them.

Warped qualia happen between the life and the world. It is a necessity for life.
Warp means a necessary change by an unknown stimulus which life did not know yet how to resonante with it. The change might lead to die. But life had to decide to do or not to do at the risk of life. The change by the warped qualia was on a risk between life and death.

Warped qualia, edge qualia, and the proto dream

I found the hidden connection among warped qualia, edge qualia, and the proto dream.
They are connected in the deep non dual realm as oneness as the necessary creation for life. They are the most important experiences for surviving.
The deepest warped qualia appear as the proto dream which has become unforgettable dream in our life, sometimes it repeats many times. When the life recieve an important warped qualia, life creats a deep impressive dream to remember it. Then a deep secret and mystery is folded in our proto dream and warped qualia. There may be a key for who am I ? or where is your uniqueness from?

Hijikata investigated in the warped qualia through the life. he finally dig out the deepest warped qualia as his last butoh dance: A girl. The dead sister was one of the deepest warped qualia for him. Why his favourite sister had to leave from home when he was child and had to sell her body in a foreign city.
It was a unsolved mystery for him in his childhood. He investigated it through his life. And finally he could success to reverse the warped qualia as the creation of the butoh.

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