|22 April, 2011
Gio gave me a feedback for 5 weeks.
I'm happy to read it , so deeply she could resonate with subbody in such
a short term so deeply as if she were my twin sister.
Amazing Resonance for 5 weeks ---Gio
Actually,I can't tell you how I've been feeling.
Oneday (after starting this course) I dreamed. In the dream, i was changing
my clothe in front of the mirror. The first clothe was nice, but some times
later I changed again. I saw me through the mirror. I wore a beautiful
clothe, the most beautiful...
It looked like an unique coat really nice. It's fitting for me, most fitting...
I said in the dream, "It's really fitting for me, most suitable!!"
Sometimes I think of that dream. I feel like to take off, change clothe, wear new
clothe, these days doing butoh.
Some one said to me about "[empty house] which the wind and air go
and come easily". I imagine that my body become like empty house.
and I'm searching so many faces, so many bodies, so many sounds…
So many stories of body…from ancient times to now…
From other life to my life…
As I said when I went to Cambodia I had some strange feelings.
Why they live there (on the big river)? Why they stay on the street begging?
Why I'm walking passing them without doing together something?
Why I live in Korea at this time?
What relationship between them and me or you and me or me and even street
dogs ,small trees, wild flowers…
Now I think, maybe it's resonance. I read some words like this.
"Sympathetic resonance"!! Anyway now I'm looking for various
resonance through body.
Resonance will be one of the most important word in my life like a solidarity
of various life in society.
You said " life resonance" Yes, life resonance.
Also the resonance with other students was amazing.
With deep emotion really I love their subbody.
Too many Qualia! In our life… Can see can feel or can't see, can't feel…
In my case strong Qualia was in some memory.
One day you said "Close your eyes, and walk forward to your past life"
I was walking but suddenly I couldn7t walk.
I didn't want to see my past. I hesitated to go.
But, sometimes later, following your direction, I was walking in the unconscious
condition. You said "Ask your life"
Yes, I did, and I waited for some answer.
And… you know what happened! My body answered for my asking.
My body remembered many things. Really amazing moments!!
The memory of the body!! I followed my body.
Sometimes I forget "I", erasing ego slowly.
When I gave up ego maximumly, there was a new world.
It's the greatest moment. I felt like "meditation of body"
I had an amazing experience in the vipassana.
But it's not enough to keep equanimity in my mind and to observe my body.
I want to express my pressure through body.]I want to comminicate our pressure
in the social system… looking for the hidden "I" or nothingness.
The methods were enough to help me to look for hidden "I".
It made me relax extremely and dissolved me.
Amazing methods to research skin,, bone,, joint,, all of inside.
Yes, I can be everything. It was enough to make me shiver.
Do you know? Why I started this traveling. I wanted to be born again.
You remember? One day I was baby in the new world…
I love some deep darkness beyond the line between darkness and light..
between happiness and sadness.
This body is wearing too many clothes. So heavy!!
I'm taking off one by one. Someday I'm wearing wind, darkness, some eyes
and other creatures.
It's new road in my life. I've never thought about this, but I don't fear.
I'm falling in love with subbody.
Coming back soon.
Just I'm thinking of the date.
Which is better? This September or next March for one year course.
Of course I want to come back as soon as possible.
Thanks a lot!!!