July 2012

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Subbody Journal
8 July, 2012



 "Let me tell you a secret (addressed to humanoids)"

Dellamore Dellamorte



You live for reasons you're not aware of. You shall die in
ignorance, cause you have lived in ignorance.
There's a key for every door. But you prefer to be hidden behind a
door.
You fail to realize that what matters in life is not what you
possess, but what you're able to let go.
Tell me a secret and I shall tell you a truth.
Make me dream and I shall reveal all secrets.
Dancing in darkness is like making love to deep space.
Making love to a physical partner is merely the slight remembrance
of a memory lost and forgotten at the depths of abyss.
Isn't this the darkest desire who motivates the so called
"necrophiliacs" after all? The fixation to penetrate darkness.
Merely impossible - equally impossible as to stimulate a corpse. A
futile attempt.
You mostly act like humans, merely cause this mechanism of existing
is your heritage that has been repeatedly used and reproduced by
numerous of your ancestors. It's more like a neurotic habbit that
keeps going on or like a gift that you have no idea how to use.
Talk to a bird and you will hear about wise things, if you're lucky
enough to be told what birds see. Talk to a human, you will hear
dumb things most of the time, merely because humans forgot how to
see.
Learn how to love and then you can hate.
Learn how to laugh and then you can cry.
Learn how to live and then you can die.
Mostly, you have to learn how to live, because death is nothing but
a pause in-between different worlds.
 3 July, 2012

Sen-Shin-Hitsu method in Researching process

A participant of Switzzerland workshop asked a question, " Sometimes I feel that I am acting, this feeling disturb me. Because Butoh is not act, but being."
Yes, it's true, Butoh is not acting. Sometimes similar question visits us "Isn't this movement fake? or not?"
But at the first stage of researching, don't worry about it. We don't know what is acting, what is being. Nobody can decide it.

Sen-Shin-Hitsu method is for this problem.

'Sen' means 'Fresh', 'New', 'Novel', 'Intersting' and so on.
At the first stage, we can follow any subtle tendensies in the darkness of body. There are so deverse qualia are floating. We can try to do everything including whatever may seem 'silly, stupid, currious, child's play, fun, ugry,crazy and so on'. Through these infinite trials, slowly our Life can find out a few movement which may connect to our deep body.

'Shin' means deep and numinous. " I don't know the reason why, but I feel this specific movement might connect to my deep part of body."
When you catch this feeling, it is 'Shin' subbody-cobody.
Among thousands of fresh and novel qualia, slowly our Life can select deep and numinous qualia.
Please try to dance the subbody of deep qualia.

'Hitsu' means necessity. Among handreds of deep qualia subbodies, Life will meet necessary subbody-cobody for living.
When we meet the necessity of dance, you can repeat it thousands times for surviving.
Until you meet it, you can try to become various subbodies and cobodies.

This was my answer to him. It takes time to meet the necessity of dance.


You can read the first article about Sen-Shin-Hitsu of Practice Guide as the following;
4-17 Sen-Shin-Hitsu

How is it possible to find your true dance?

I have investigated in how to guide students to get it for a long year, but, I could not find the best proper way until this year.
A night in the dream my subbody of "Infectious Fever"which I created ten years ago, told me "Lee, guide students into the same way to find me exactly ten years ago, it is necessary for everybody, not only for you..".
Ten years ago I have faced to my ten ploblems which I have bound by for long years, and I diged the tunnel to release from these problems one by one.
I started to tackle to the smallest problem.
The first ploblem was what I could not stand neutrally.
The second one is what I could not open transparent eyes without intention and tention.
The third one is what I could not escape from the super ego which continued to direct me from above sky.
I invented each movement to release from these ten ploblems.
It became my frirst subbody solo of "Infectious Fever".
But, until recent I regarded that it was only my special case, because it was so hard process. I couldn't guide the others that hard process. But now I recognise that it is really worth to face to one's binds and problems for everybody to meet one's true dance which is necessary for life.
I organized the safe process of "Sen-Shin-Hitsu" with using resonance touch and shiatsu method for awaking the proto vitality which is able to heal by oneself and "Edge work" to overcome the unconfortable crisis of encountering the edge..
Now finally I find the method how to reserch in the darkeness of body.
I named it "Sen-Shin-Hitsu" method.


"Sen" is the first step of researching subbodies.
"Sen" means "Novel!", "New!", "Fresh!" ,"Intersting!", and "Precious!"

When you calm down daily body/mind, and listen in the darkeness of body with moving our hidden joints, hidden cavities, and hidden skin in various way, if you meet a novel body feeling, just follow, amplify it until the limit.
You can create your "Sen" subbodies.
Students of Summer term have already tried to research "Sen" subbodies in these two weeks. You can see the photo frick above.

The second stage is "Shin"
"Shin" means "Deep!"

When you find a curious movement for your life, if you feel "I don't know the reason why, but I could feel something connected to my depth", this is the sub-signal of "Shin" from your life.
Our inner qualia are resonating each other beyond the time and space in our darkenss of body.
The new qualia which you meet today may resonate with the expierience of child age, maybe dream of fetus age, or deeper life memory which is folded in your cells.
The constellation of the inner qualia are resonate together in multi dimension.
It may connect to some "Shadow" which Jung found as a inferior character, "Not-me" which Salivan found which was disappeared character
in infant age through being ignored by parennts, "Trauma" which you have forgotten, and "Dissociated character" which your ego have cut away.
They can become your "Hidden subbodies".
Sometimes it may connect to deeper life tendencies which was folded in your cells as life memories.
They can become your "Proto subbodies".
If you find the "Deep!" sub-signal, you will encounter many edges which give you unknown unconfortable body feeling.
We need to learn Shiatsu technique for overcoming these unknown difficulties on the edge, and get the proto vitality which can cure and heal by oneself.
We need to proceed slowly and slowly with listening the time of life.

The third step is "Hitsu"
"Hitsu" means "Necessity!"

When most of students seem ready to proceed to next stage, we will begin deepest researching to find the necessity of movement for life. We have to face to the one's own problems and binds which bound us until today.
It will be so hard inner struggle, but it is worth to do for finding the new way to live with being released from these unnecessary binds.
Accutually all of binds are not necessasry for life. But our ego and self don't know how to escape from these unnecessary binds..
The real creation is the always "Reverse twist" of our lives which try to turn ourselves to the opposite direction which our lives are twisted, pressed, and warped.

You don't need to force yourself against the deepest problem at the first step. We have so many binds which are folded in our darkeness of body. You shuld start to tackle the easer problems which you can overcome with small effort, you will do the reverse twist and reframe your constellation from those binds.
To live subbody is to continue these infinite process one step by one step with spiral deepening.
Subbody butoh is to continue the investigation in the nesesity of dance of life.

The important thing is the tempo.
Too early prcess must break yourself by the too strong pressure of edges.
The midwife of subbody have to listen in the time of life of students carefully with throwing away the self.
To become the midwife of subbody is the hard trainig to abondon one's self.
It will be the hardest way of life, but it is the most worth to live.


 2 July, 2012

Secret gift of A Size Walk

The last sentense of Hijikata's Butoh Score has hidden secret.
The last sentense of A size walk is as the following;

1. Walk with becoming a fixed size body.
2. Not walking, but shift body between heaven and the earth.
3. Eyes become glass ball eyes, open the third eye between the eyeblows.
4. The speed which the scenes are reflected on your glass ball eyes is quicker than the speed which you see the scenes.
5 Put the razor blades under the soles.
6. Carry a water vase on the top of the head.
7. All joints are hanged by spider's thread.
8. A wish to walk goes ahead, the shape of body follow it from behind.
9. The traces of walk are hanged in front of you and behind.
3. Eyes become glass ball eyes, open the third eye between the eyeblows.
5 Put the razor blades under the soles.
6. Carry a water vase on the top of the head.
10. A forest at the back of teeth. Spider's threads in the empty cavity of body.
11. Already the eyes have stopped to see, the legs have stopped to walk.
Your being itself become walking eyes, and walking legs.
12. The walking demands the discontinuity of walk, and
suggests an expanse of space.
1. Walk with becoming a fixed size body.


The walking demands the discontinuity of walk, and it evokes an expanse of space.

Crick here to see the practice Guide of A Size Walk

It is the entrance of another world, or your own behind world.
This is the hedden gift fron Hijikata to the next generation of Butoh.
After learning A size walk, you can enter into other world through this discontinuity of demension.
Butoh dancer does not dance in the three dimensional space as daily consensus reality.
We enter into own behind world which connect to own Abyss which is a bottomless depth.
We will find the reason why do we have to dance and create an unique butoh dance.
Everything is hidden in the Abyss.
Hijikata preapred to guide to the entrance of tunnel toward the each own Abyss.
I noticed it today in the Switzerland workshop.
I have read it for thousand times for the class and workshop, but until now I could not notice this secret pass way.
I was bound by the surface meaning of the word, and bound by the dualistic trick of the word.
I need to be more rhziome, need to release from the tree system of thinking.
I need to open more to the multi dimensional reality of Life Resonance.
Hijikata's last sentense of butoh score has the secret
as well as (The will is bug/ sense of material) of the last sentense of Bugs Walk, or The Dancer Hoopy of the last sentense of Quiet House.
I wish to write like this deep word which will be revealed the hidden secret after long years.
What should be the last word of this article?

Become rhizome.
Become a secret.

2 July, 2012

(This article is from 'School Jornal June, 2009'.
We upload it again for you, when you meet an edge how to solve it.)


My biggest teaching / Asuka

 

When I faced my unknown edge, I faced a deep pressure feeling in my chest:

pain, cannot breathe, cannot speak, need to cry. It was going on for more than a week already.


(edge1 picture)

I definitely didn't wan't to deal with it.. I felt so annoyed when you proposed edge work exercises.

It was so bad, I couldn't figure out what it was or why is this was happening to me.

I thought, if it's just anguish, it will pass, then it's no use to do anything about it, otherwise I'll just feed it...

and I don't want to make things worse..

However, with all the aversion I had, I slowly followed your propositions..

 

Suddently, I realised it was me pressing me : My self was struggling and oppressing me.

I watched and asked silently: ¨ Why are you doing this to me? Why do you want to kill me ? ¨

It answered that we were having a war, and I was divided because of paradoxe.

I wanted one thing and its opposite, to be one thing and the opposite,

so the other me was embodying my opposite.

Because I had been suppressing it, also it was suppressing me.

But I realised..

we cannot live without each other. Whatever happens, we must continue to live together

Me and my opposite,

We converse..

We must take care of each other, otherwise no one can live,

it is a matter of surviving.

 

Together, reunited, we can be All.

Everything that seems outside, isn't separate.

We are One.

Everytime I deny something, hate, or suppress something,

I am denying a part of the whole.

Each time I forgive and reconcile myself with something that seems outside of me,

I forgive and reconcile myself with a part of me..

and now, this is my work..

 

In order to survive..

To recognise everything as oneness..

Not to dissociate myself with what is around..

this is also how I am erased..

There is no such thing as individuation.

Most of all, to find Balance, because Balance is a universal law..

And to be able to see with the eyes of the opposite is

the key to finding Balance.

This drawing emerged then.

The white human as myself as I consciously know myself,

all that seems stable,material, that I perceive as reality,

 all that I accept as a world, self image, identity..

The dark human as my unconscious side,

all that is unstable, immaterial, unknown world,

all unaccepted aspects or repressed self,

shadow..

 

Inspired by the ying and yang symbol of balance,

I found out a way to move beyond the edge of the moment,

I traded eyes with my opposite,

saw myself, erased my mind,

understood, and let go..

 

This was perhaps the biggest freeing feeling of my life...

I wish to apply it all along.

 

Thank you Lee, for pushing us to face our edge.




Read more about "Edge work"

Learn more the edge work from Mindell