|30 September, 2011
Deepening the Resonance
To deepen creation is to deepen resonance into multi-dimensional and non-dual
The number of dimension of resonance is increasing, the taste of resonance
Dancers transparent Riken-eye; to watch one self from inside and outside equally increases the transparency. The Ma of Sekitei (best spacing and best timing in each moment )becomes deep and complex taste.
How to carry each Secret, How to carry the Density freely, How to jump
wild without logic. These are what students laerned from Quiet House.
|25 September, 2011
Carrying a Secret
I have to stay in India only one more week by visa issue.
I selected the most important things and try to guide students to create their own one hour solo during the second semeter.
The first important thing is to carry each own Secret.
Also Hijikata wrote it at the first sentense of "Quiet House".
"A girl who plans an evil deed in the rain"
This is the deepest Secret which Hijikata hided in the piece.
We research each own Secret in the darkness of body.
Conditioning No.5; "Opening five hidden qualia" is usefull to serach it.
In the Hidden cavities, Hidden fluid, Hidden joints, Hidden muscles and
Hidden skins. With moving them in various ways, students serached each
own Secret, and tries to carry them in the subbody-cobody Sekitei( Stone
Sekitei means to open the transparent 'Riken' eyes (to see oneself through
various aspect from outside and inside always and find the most tasty position
to resonate each other and with the world in multi-dimensional aspects)
is one of the advanced theme of the second semester 2011.
During the last week, Natasja and Issabelle arrived at school. Now almost
of students except of Jullie who will join in October, met together after
long Summer vacation, their bodies enjoyed with recovering the subtle life
resonance and become alive like as fishes to return the home water.
|24 September, 2011
Density of Nature/ Syv
Syv guided one day workshop for us.
She showed pictures which she took at Ladakh, India during Summer.
They were full of amazing variations of carrying densities by nature. Himalayan
mountains were generated by the encounter of the Indian Semi-Continent
and the Eurasia Continent by the plate-tectonics.
Indian plate enters under the Eurosian plate only 1 cm a year, and created
the Himalayan mountains during the long year. It inspires us about what
is the carrying density.
Plate carrys the density of the land, we can carry density of Life.
Syv told us what she was moved and learned by the nature in Ladakh, how
the nature is great and how we are tiny and so on as the following;
Nature has always been a great teacher for me, and the mountains of Ladakh
definitely count for an endless source of inspiration. Of course it is
a trully stunning spot on earth. But it is more than that. I found a lot
of connections between their energies and what we are researching and practicing
at the Subbody school with Hijikata' s Quiet House.
They carry an amazingly strong density, so strong that it could nearly
be physically materialized, and touched by human sense . They display such
an array of diverse multilayers and overlaps or rock formations and shapes.
Their “movements” through shapes, colors, size and lights are so wild and
infinite, an ever-changing final picture with millions of different and
unique details. What a creation indeed! If our body as Butoh dancer could
achieve the same, what a performance we would give! Those rocks are mad
king dancing with mescaline and a girl and a tiger and a samourai, and
such a a strong yet fragile world. Powerful and subtle.
Most of all they resonate with everything around, the air, the sky, the
Universe movements, the animals, the human beings, you and me, and with
everything inside -each one of their pebbles and grass. Their “hidden skin”
and nest of body is always open, receptive and adapting. Standing in front
of them I immediately sense the Oneness. I am part of it.
They have a lot to teach me for they carry the wisdom and memories of millions
years. They are funny, compassionate, angry, quiet, naughty, proud, mad,
talkative and surprising. They carry and display a lot of beauty, a lot
of peacocks. And secrets.
It is an humbling experience to stand in awe in front of them, and a priviledge
to listen and dance with them. I am nothing but a tiny speck of dust compare
to their size and long history. I am however a small part to dance in this
oneness. What a profound joy!
Ladakh is a perfect place for butoh I think :-) The energies, resonance,
mystery, madness and feeling of oneness are all there already. One day
maybe, we will meet in Ladakh and dance our blood of dance and our secrets.
|17 September, 2011
Sekitei (Stone garden)- Keeping the eternity in the moment
We created a Sekitei (Stone garden) together at the first subbody-cobody
theater in the second semester of Subbody School Himalaya.
One of a theme of second semester is to cultivate "A transparent Riken eye". Riken means to watch yourself from inside and outside half and
To see yourself 50% from outside, and 50% from inside equally.
Especially, in the cobody group movement, to see yourself and the group
from outside( from mountain, from sky, from the audience, from the world
and so on) and always chose the best position for all viewpoints.
We need to train ourselves to get the Riken eye until it becomes a second
In these two weeks we review half part of "Quiet House" by bodily
Especially, students integrated own subbody solo from the most important
elements of Shisha (QH2), Vaporized body (QH4), Can factory (QH 6), Reduction
by X (QH 7), Chimera (QH 10, 11), Dancing place (QH 16), and Small box
of joints (QH 19);
"Small box of joints - Hans bellemer - Samurai Commander - Pricess
Hijikata wrote the score with omission, when we practice this chapter,
we should reorder the sequence as the following;
" Bellmer - Bottom 1 - Samurai - Bottom2 - Princess - Bottom3 - Tiger
- Bottom4 - Bellmer "
Then you can create various processes to enter a Bottom body ( or to be
put into a boxed body) and to come out from a Bottom body.
When several students danced the sequences at the same time together, an
unexpected beautiful "Ma-balance" appered. Ma-balance means a
proper distance between an action and the other action or a being and other
In this case the best balance between stilness and movement appeared.
Through this an idea to learn the Sekitei (Stone garden) has come out.
"Sekitei" is a practice method which I found over ten years ago,
and continued to warm it until now.
Now students got several patterns of each Bottom body, and learned the
Ten bodies including Bellmer, Samurai, princess and Tiger, then we can
practice the "Sekitei".
We re-constructed a miniture stone garden into the best proportion as the
Sekitei of Ryoan-ji, Kyoto, Japan in the back yard of the school.
I loved the Sekitei of Ryoan-ji a lot from childhood. I visited the garden
in 10's, 20's, 30's, 40's, and 50's so often and spend time in the garden.
I could get novel awareness in each time I have visited about relationship,
world-self channel, spacing of Jo-Ha-Kyu, Music composition of Jo-Ha-Kyu
and so on. Especially the huge empty space in the middle is the most tasty
favourite for me.
Students tried to create the "Sekitei" through the resonance
of cobody improvisation.
Dance is the momentary art, but we need to create the deep taste which
is worth to taste for ten thousand years in each moment.
We have to hide the eternal beauty in each moment.
|9 September, 2011
Dreambody resonance from Isabelle
Isabelle send a dream which she dreamt recently.
The dream resonates with the main theme of the second semester of subbody
school as a synchronisity which Jung reserched in. Our darkness of bodies
are resonating beyond the border of individual and group. In the deeper
realm of it there is no border between subbody and cobody.
I gave a homework to all students for the summer vacation. It is to select
a favourite chapter of Quiet House, and invent a way of practice for deepning
Through sharing all student's findings, we can deepen the score from "A
reminder for Hijikata's solo" to "Universal treasure for opening
infinite creativity, originality, and resonativity". Hijikata's original
score contains the potential. I want for all students to contact the infinite
And at the same time, students proceed to be a midwife for oneself subbody
and cobody, and for other student's subbody and cobody, too in the second
semester of the school.
In Isabelle's dream, her dreambody entered to that world where the fetuses
of subbody and cobody are struggling with meeting various dificulties.
Always something disturves the birth of subbody, we need to solve the problem
as a midwife for oneself, and for others, too. Isabelle's subbdoy and cobody
have already started the preparation to become a midwife for the next process
in the second semester. I believe that also in other student's darkness
of body, similar process is proceeding. Life is resonating deeply without
I have been wanting to write you. About my deep travels in summer subbody.
And to ask again about the summer homework. I asked some students but we all seem to understand it differently.
Maybe that is the point... But I did some work on it. But it needs more...
...it is not easy, to transform my abyss into a score. But the work is
It is the task about the Quiet House I didn't really understand, to specify
on one chapter or sentence and, what? Make into exercise?
Yes, exactly. But, Quiet House is not a normal text which we can understand
by head. If we use our language brain which is bound by dualism, we cannot
resonate with it forever. Because our "I" desturbs the resonance.
Now you started to struggle with your nightmare. Through these hard works
we can resonate with Hijikata's struggle. Hijikata has continued to struggle
with his nightmare for whole life. Also I struggled with my proto dreams.
We can resonate deeply through these necessary struggle for living. Please
keep deepning this work. On the way, deep awareness will come up, "Oh
Hijikata and me met the same mysteries of Life and Death!" (Lee)
Ok, one thing I will tell you. On Monday night (I was supposed to fly Monday
morning) I was reading a lot on the homepage (while listening to zen meditation
music), about shisha, about midwife technique, feedback from students,
Quiet House deepening, old journals and so on. It was very late and I could
have stayed up reading, it felt good to resonate. I also sometimes stood
up and did conditioning. Anyway I decided to go to bed instead. But I kept
resonating. Very vivid dream. We were sitting with some big water in front,
me and Jonathan and other unidentified students. You started explaining
an exercise, and me and Jonathan went directly into it, still sitting there,
and unconsciously also resonating with each other, while still listening
to the exercise- Becoming an ancient but still growing tree, our bodies
was growing in and out of each other.
Suddenly I hear you telling us to go into the water and start the exercise
there. Then I see that all other students have just listened, and you have
a small surprise to see that we started before. We go into the water and
start again there. Me and J grow in and out of each other again, moving
in the water, the bodies becoming branches, green leaves, human and water
Then suddenly I realize again that the exercise have stopped abruptly,
and again our reaction is a bit slower to get out of it. It is because
one student which is an old man, maybe 75, is very sick. Everybody freezes
but nobody helps him. I awake and hurry to help him. I help him to walk
up from the water and support him standing while he needs to throw up.
(One of the stern quiet observers is one of the organizers from Exit, also
a movement teacher, deeply fascinated and envious of Japanese culture and
extremely stiff in his own body and very controlling and self-righteous.
In the end of Exit he was expressed even some jealousy and same time irritation
of me for being so stupid and breaking all the rules, yet being so much
in oneness, loving resonance, quietness and Butoh all the time, seemingly
effortlessly. In the dream he had decided to go and do a semester at the
Subbody School. Others in the audience were more anonymous, but possibly
more butoh or meditation or spiritual teachers. Most seats were just empty
I try to send subtle signals at first and they grow in strength until I
scream almost angrily for others to help. Up there it is like an audience
sitting with distance and very coldly observing us, while students are
spread in water. In a way they seem to stare as if observing me. I feel
it both like they are not there at all and yet judging me, seeing how I
deal with it, if I do it right, or maybe I should do nothing, just like
them. Finally some girls (foreign worker stereotype) gets me a bucket for
the mans throwing up, which has already come a lot. It is pink liquid.
It is very hard work for him to throw this up, a lot has already come,
before the young girls have brought the bucket. He finish in the bucket
and the I help him to sit next to another old man, his friend, on one of
the high audience seats around the space.
It is not inside nor outside. But more outside, because the water is there,
and there is no roof and no visible entrance.
The old man is very grateful, and him and his friend are smiling together
now. The first one seems of Iranian or similar origin, and the other is
a bit younger and looks something like Turkish. Then between them I place
a little child, mostly like boy but actually genderless. They are happy
about that too, and I know the child is safe there, for a while, until
I find another, more sustainable solution.
The child is from earlier in the dream. It was also in water, I helped
the child too. It had trouble breathing and I helped it. And it was also
having trouble move sometimes and fighting with itself over that, getting
very angry and frustrated. I saw and felt the stiffness then in it's body
and how it was very unpleasant and difficult. How the body felt like it
was really going to get stuck, and lost it's natural flexibility and Life,
and how scary that was. It felt unnatural, like humanoid, so much less
possibilities than human. I watched it's pain and fighting with itself.
It was also a pin from growing bigger, too fast. It was actually a baby
that needed to be held, and supported life breathing and heart beating.
But it had to stand and move like a 4-5 year old, or like a small adult.
Then I could not do much, but observe and feel compassion and understanding.
In the water it was really a baby and was grateful for being held by me
in the deep, when nobody else even saw it.
Wow, it becomes even much clearer today as I am writing it! And tonight
I went to a friend of mine for a kind of body-emotion therapy session.
So strange for me to ask for help, and I didn't feel I needed it. Or wanted
to need it. But almost same as in the dream happened, but just in awake
life in my body and subbody. Very intense. Long have I believed there is
no difference between realities of dreams and awake, and more and more
it is also really reality.
I have understood so much during the summer, integrated so many things
from recent and past.
And how strongly it is really true that what we say, what we think, comes
true, sooner than we know. Maybe especially when we are most of the time
in subbody mode. I learned how I was really stuck in my abyss, in my fear.
And feeling, guessing, maybe it would have made a great difference if I
had kept throwing myself into the cleansing pool. So summer was a quite
hard experience, but very deep learning. And I kept taking as much time
as I could in solitude and quietness, but it wasn't easy. I could have
used one month just like that. Sitting quietly, integrating. Instead I
went straight, head on, to see my birth place, my mother, father,
sister (which are all spread out). I almost didn't have time to breathe.
But it came later...
Now I feel like to tell you everything, but now it's again very late. For
now, just this.
Resonating from my Life to yours