15 June, 2007

Dead friends in the darkness of my body

Many dead friends who were killed in the movement against Vietnam war, against the government of Japan and USA 1960-1975, are living in the darkness of my body.

Today is the day when Michiko Kanba was killed by police in the demonstration against the Japanese goverment which promoted the war with Amarican gaverment on 15th June, 1960.

Michiko came out in my dream and told me,
" Lee! Stop to do the fake dance!"
at the night of 15th June of 9 years ago.

Suddenly I aware that I fake myself at that moment, I made up the artists network with every kind of dancers including modern dancers.
But that work forced me to take the fake mask as too much comminicative and
I have fallen into the yesman.

I decided to separate from modern dancers who can not stop the ego, because their ego inffluenced me almost dying together.

Then I could separate from these friends of modern dancers.
I did not know untill then that the ego of modern people's is so harmfull for me.

The dead have informed me that I have to find my own way to separate completely from modern people.

Then now I could established my own way in Himalaya India.

Thank you for awaring me, my dead friends!



9 June, 2007

Quiet for becoming the life

I tryed to become the life in this holidays between the spring term and summer term, through this experience i found that we need the extremely quietness to bcome the life.

We have to escape from the big noise that we are the human,
we have to forget that we are the human.
We have to stop thinking and taking care of the circumstances at all.

How is it possible to get the extremly quietness for students who have arrived at Himalaya from noisy modern societies.

At first we have to know we need million times deeper quietness than daily life which we live.

I will try to enter this quiet realm in coming summer term.
When we understand what is real quietness, we can listen up to the life sway and life resonance.
They are so extremly subtle, than daily life.

This must be the first lesson of June course, for entering the new dimansion of investigation on life .




7 June, 2007

The ending of ego

When I listen to the life sway, whole the days in this week,

I found a subtle tendency which my ego seems to want to end.
It is very subtle signal, but I could catch it.
It is not to kill individual life like the suicide but to live as a oneness multi life.
My ego was so strong for me for a long time, I am disgusted at it because it has too much tendency of self expression.
That is the reason why I stopped dance performance five years before.
Then I turned my life from dance performer to the midwife for the birth of subbody of each student.
'Not to express the self too much'
----I rememberd the word of philosofer Gille Deleuze as a moral for future.
My life is going to turn from life of individual to the life of kind.
I awared that the most important thing is not to express the self but to live as a life, and just resonate as a life with the world.

Actually I found that the life as an individual is illusion,
and the oneness multi life which continue to life for four billions years from the very biggining of the origine life at on this planet, is the real of life.

What gift can I give back to the life is the most important thinf for us as a indivisual being, I believe so now.

Now I can understand that my way of life as a midwife for subbody is my gift to the life.
To recover the resonativity of life must change the selfish world which the ego and the state support each other and press the outside people egoisticly.

The turn into the life as a kind, this is the last stage for me.
I can die at any time without any refret on the way of this life.

Off course I know that my small egos of my dissociated sub-charactors do not disappear and they continue to struggle against the world tarnsparently.
They can not mature because they live in another dimension without time dimension.
I will go to die with all of them.
They seemed to understand it slowly.


Subbody Butoh School Himalaya

June 2007

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